Pre-Marital Counseling ISN'T a bad thing!
For the most part I think every couple has in the back of their mind... Why do we need to have pre-martial counseling? Is there something wrong with us? Do people think we shouldn't get married? Are they going to tell us that we aren't right for each other or that we shouldn't get married? Okay.. So maybe not everyone thinks that way but I know me and Kyle did! Of course everyone has problems... but to start "counseling" before even being married totally freaked us out. Can I just say that this was the best decision we have made-to go a few weeks of pre-martial counseling! Our pastor, Curt, is marrying us from our Church and they require this counseling... and I TOTALLY understand why now :)
Kyle may kill me for blogging this but... it's definitly part of THE HONEST TRUTH of steps to getting married! Usually when you're in counseling you have "problems" or you feel like no one "understands" you or you feel like you have no one to talk to about whatever so you find a complete stranger to tell all your problems (good&bad) who won't judge you. I love pre-marital counseling... well, moments of it ;)
In our Pre-Marital Counseling it started out with taking a "Personality Test" it's about 200 questions that we answer without the other person around. We took the test then we sent it back in and had to set up an appointment with our counselor. So {imagine this} first session we sit down and start talking {on the couches next to each other.. like the movies} and she starts reading off what I "disagree" about and what I "agree" about and same for Kyle... That's where it started getting intense ;) [that's a NICE way to put it] I don't think any couple deals with "issues" or "problems" if they don't have to... You just kind of go on about your merry little lives and then when it POPS back up you deal with it. Well when someone is pretty much pulling every little thing you dislike about your other half out in the open and making you "express the way you feel" to your spouse... That isn't the most exciting hour! Now, I won't go on and on about what we had to talk about and what we had to be "honest" about {even though some of you are DYING to know;) } but I will say that half way through our counseling we both realized it was the best thing we decided to do so far! But I have to say... this "Personality Test" is definitly trickey! The questions that are asked are so twisted it's almost like a "trick" question to get you in trouble or something.... Throughout our counseling sessions there have been a few questions that Kyle and I both look at each other and wonder what in the hell we were thinking about when we answered those! The section of this Personality Test that really shocked me {I'm not sure about Kyle.. We'll get his opinion} was the "Differences in Personalities." I never realized how different he and I really are! For those of you who are dating, engaged, or married... look at which "love language" you are from The Five Love Languages because this is a really neat concept and it makes you realize alot about why your "spouse" is the way they are or why they expect certain "needs." Our Pastor and Counselor pointed out a really neat book that makes you open your eyes up a little bit more about your spouse and that one is called His Needs, Her Needs - Kyle is in the middle of reading this one :) So, my point to this "blog" is just because your church or your Pastor requires you to go through "Pre Martial Counseling" doesn't mean they think you aren't right for each other - it's definitly something that makes you a little bit stronger, a lot closer and you appreciate your spouse a little bit more ;)
Few thoughts from my dearest love, my Fiance!
Not only was he so kind to go to each session and deal with me being honest and not taking offense from anything I said - he actually likes to talk about what we both learned from that previous counseling session. Kyle has learned {his words} that the cause of so many things that he and I deal with are from the divorces/relationships of our parents and how much it has affected our lives and our relationship. We have to close the door to our past and open a new one for our life together :)
We have two more counseling sessions so I'll definitly add a little blog later down the road to sum up our experience with "Pre-Martial Counseling!"
Just feeling a little love towards my soon to be hubby:)
and a little musical note to add how much I love him :) Enjoy!
Goodnight All
